April 24, 2005

Remember Rae

In a bid to stop this ever happening again my family are raising money for the Millennium Institute at Westmead. Please consider a donation no matter how small as a single dollar could make the difference between a cure and more waiting.

Other areas that Rae would have appreciated you helping out are donating blood and joining the bone marrow transplant database.

I am also currently making a website so that we have a permanent memorial for her. The address will be:


As is probably only fitting for a woman who loved music, here are her favourite songs in case you need to remember her:
- "Bliss" by Muse
- "My Immortal" by Evanescence
- "Beautiful World" by Coldplay
- "Call of Ktulu" by Metallica (S&M version)

Thank you Rae for touching my life. You have left an indellible mark on me so much so that I am changing careers and reinventing myself. I will never forget you.

This is the end of "Ella's Blog". Sadly it was not a happy ending.

The End

Rae Ellis, aka Ella, passed away late on the 18th after a 16 month battle to get better.

Here is her entire story.

Those of us who knew Rae will never forget her as she made an impact on all our lives. The world has lost a wonderful woman. Rest in peace.

April 18, 2005

She's still hanging in there but cannot breathe on her own. The doctors reckon she's only got a couple of hours left, they didn't say that but i can tell. Just to reassure, she is not in any pain or discomfort but is still conscious, only just.

April 16, 2005

The end is nigh

Ella has quite probably entered her final week. Her body is starting to fail on all fronts. There is still a chance of a recovery but it is dimming every hour. She is now basically oblivious to her surroundings.

April 14, 2005

Beautiful World

Bones are sinking like stones
All that we fall for
Homes places we've grown
All of us are done for

And we live in a beautiful world (yeah we do yeah we do)
We live in a beautiful world

Bones sinking like stones
All that we've fall for
homes places we've grown
All of us are done for

And we live in a beautiful world (yeah we do yeah we do)
We live in a beautiful world X2

Oh all that I know is nothing to run from
Cause yeah everybody here got's somebody to lean on

One of Ella's favourite songs. If only she could hear it now.

April 13, 2005

I had a chat to Ella today, a couple of messages. She just wants to be left alone much as Eddy is indicating. She has yet to totally give up but when people communicate with or see her it makes her want to die.

She thanks you all for being her friend. She has had many a happy memory with you guys and that helped her drive to stay alive and recover from all this.

On a personal note from me, I am sorry for not being able to get her through this. I wish there was more I could do to help her. I tried my best.
Emotionally this has been the hardest time of my life. She is constantly sleeping, doesn't want to see anybody and has stopped talking altogether. Yesterday she woke up in tears, took off her mask and mouthed "please let me go"
The doctor says that the chance of her getting better is small, but the chance is still there. We're turning a corner and don't know what's ahead.

April 09, 2005

it has been difficult lately.....Ella refused to see us last night so the nurses wouldn't let us in. I couldn't believe she rejected to see her own family at first but I guess she's tired and wants to sleep. We will try again this afternoon.

April 06, 2005

Ella: "I don't want to do anything really. I think I could sleep forever".